Dead Alone
by The Invisible Friend
Summary: Lovino drains the life from anything he touches, seriously. It seems that he's the embodiment of death while his lively twin brother is his counterpart life. He has isolated himself from everyone, for their own protection. So what happens when a new transfer student decides to take an interest in him his freshman year of high school?
1. Chapter 1

Life and Death. While polar opposites, they are necessary for one another. Without life there is no death, without death there is no life. They balance each other out, each has it's purpose. Lovino Vargas knew this better than anyone. For whatever reason him and his twin brother Feliciano were these things. Feliciano was life, constantly drawing people in with his happy aura. He was the thing everyone wanted, everyone looked forward too. Lovino on the other hand got the short end of the stick. He was death, and, while he had tried to make friends before, he typically avoided people. Despite the fact that this may seem like some elaborate metaphor, it's not. God did Lovino wish it was just a silly metaphor to describe their personalities or something, it would probably make his life a lot easier. At least then he could try and make himself better with people, maybe fix his attitude. No, what he is talking about is the fact they are the legitimate embodiment of those two things. He didn't know how or why it happened to them, it just did. It's always been like this.

When Lovino and Feliciano were younger they first noticed the things they did. It all started when Lovino touched a plant or something a the leaf wilted. Of course, Feliciano got fascinated and touched the leaf which brought the leaf back and even added life to it. As time went on the two of them discovered more things, and their energy became stronger. Lovino drained the life from anything and everything he touched, it was worse when he was emotional. Feliciano brought life back into anything and everything he touched, he was either weaker or stronger when he was emotional, depending on what emotion. The only person Lovino could properly touch was his brother. When they were kids they were inseparable, constantly clinging to one another. Feliciano was warm, he's always been warmer than Lovino. Everyone was warm to Lovino, he was just colder than most people. Again, not metaphorically, even though he was cold in attitude too, no literally. He was also fairly pale while Feliciano practically glowed. His hair was darker than Feliciano's, he was quieter than Feliciano, he was rude to people, and he could go unnoticed. A skill he was very grateful to have. Lovino tried to avoid people as much as possible, and he did everything in his power not to touch them one bit. He had made that fatal mistake once and once was one time too many.

It had been when he was around seven, his mother still didn't think much of the brothers abilities and he had still been able to touch people for the most part without harming them.

_Lovino limped up the walkway of his home with tears streaming down his face and a hand on his knee. "Mamma" He cried holding his knee. "I got hurt"_

_His mother knelt down to examine her son and glanced over to his brother. "What happened Feli?" She asked_

_Feliciano glanced down "He fell, the tree branch died and broke" He mumbled, his eyes brimming with tears._

_Their mother glanced back at Lovino "Has it been getting worse bambino?" She asked, concern filling her voice. _

_Lovino simply nodded, tears still streaming down his face. Feliciano looked between his mother and his twin before bursting into tears "I thought he was gonna die mama!" He cried. _

_His mother patted his head "Lovi is okay though Feli, he isn't dead." She said softly, smiling at her younger child. _

_She then turned to Lovino "Let's go inside so I can patch you up, then we can make cannolis okay?" _

_Lovino nodded through his tears and allowed his mother to pick him up. It was unusual for him to let her carry him because of how standoffish to anyone other than his twin, but it was forgotten because of his injuries. As they were walking into the house their mother began slowing her pace, her , her rapid talk became slurred and slow and she ended up loosening her grip on Lovino before stopping completely. Confused Lovino patted her arm "Mama? Are you okay?" He asked concern filling his voice. _

_She slowly put him on the ground and nodded softly before grabbing his hand and resuming walking. It was only a couple seconds after that she fell on the ground. Panicking Lovino let go of his mothers hand and backed away in horror as Feliciano rushed forward to see what was wrong. "Mama! Mama! __Stai bene?" He yelled, shaking her shoulder._

"_Lovi why isn't she waking up!? What do I do!?" Feliciano cried in panic looking to his brother for help. _

_Lovino simply stared in horror at the scene before him. Was this because of him? But.. mama had said he was okay, that he just couldn't touch normal people for too long. Normal people...Normal "Feli!" Lovino shouted "Use the thing.. your magic!" _

_Feliciano looked up in panic, tears streaming down his face "I- I don't know how fratello. He-help me!" He sobbed holding their mothers head in his tiny lap. _

_Lovino looked at his brother, helpless and panicking, and tried to think. "We- We have to call for help!" Lovino said through tears. "Feli you- you try and use your magic. I- I'll call.. for help." He cried. _

_Lovino called for help, Feliciano's calls for their mother to wake up had become a static noise of sorts, it was a constant now. When he had finished calling for help Lovino went back to stand slightly behind his brother, careful not to touch anything. He wouldn't touch anyone ever again._

_Suddenly they heard their mother call out "Lovi? Lovi my bambino?" _

"_Mama!" Feliciano cried happily _

_Lovino's head snapped towards their mother. "Yes mama?" He sniffled. _

_He heard her sigh softly, her breath was shallow and soft. "Lovi my precious bambino you did not do anything wrong do you understand me il mio amore" She said weakly, yet sternly. _

_Lovino nodded weakly "Y-yes mama, I understand." He cried_

"_Feli, my little bambino where are you?" She called weakly_

_Felicano looked confused "I'm right here mama, you're in my lap." He said softly. _

_She somehow had managed a smile "Ah my little bambino, il mio amore, my precious one. You know you did everything right yes?" She said softly_

_Feliciano nodded "Yes mama! I got you to wake up after all!" He said happily. _

_Lovino saw her try and nod "Yes, yes you did il mio amore, you did very very good. Mama is so proud of you my precious flower." She cried "Now I need my big boys to do something for me, can you do that?" She asked weakly._

_The twins nodded "Yes mama" They said simultaneously._

_She smiled "There's my good boys. Mama wants you to stick together no matter what. Lovino you take care of your little brother. You two need each other, stay together" She said softly._

_Lovino shook his head "I won't need to take care of Feli mama, you'll be here!" He cried "You'll be here!" _

_The tears started to stream down their mothers face "Bambino you and I both know that's not true. Now tell me you will take care of your little brother" She instructed sternly. _

_Lovino nodded "I will take care of Feli mama. I promise" He said, straightening his stance. _

_Their mother smiled "Good boy, my good strong boy. My sweet sweet angels. My adored ones." She whispered, her eyes started to slip shut. _

_Feliciano's eyes grew wide and panicked "Mama! Mama no no no! Mama! Lovi do something!" He screamed. _

_Lovino just stood paralyzed staring at his frantic brother trying to revive their mother. He couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't talk. This was because of him, because of the terrible thing he was. _

Later, after the paramedics had gotten there and done everything they could, but revealed their mother was in fact dead, the brothers were left to pack their things. Lovino was packing for the both of them, letting Feliciano sleep. The brothers were shipped off to their nonnos house in America, they didn't even get to stay for their mothers funeral, having to leave as soon as possible. Not being able to say their final goodbyes had bothered Lovino to no end, but he stayed strong and comforted his brother instead keeping his sadness inside. After all he didn't have the right to be sad, it was his fault, Feli had tried to save her, Feli could be sad.

Surprising enough their nonno knew about what they could do, it appeared their mama had been telling him all the new things they could do as it was happening. Lovino immediately cringed at the fact, nonno knew what Lovino was. He surely knew it was his fault their mama died. But, instead of scolding him like the seven year old expected he pulled them into a hug. Panicked by the human contact, Lovino immediately jumped out of the hug and out of reach from his nonno.

"Do-don't touch me!" He yelled.

He could have killed nonno. If nonno had hugged him he could have died because of Lovino, just like their mama. Nonnos face instantly softened and he took a step towards his grandson. "Lovi" He said softly.

Lovino shook his head and backed up. "Don't come near me! Don't touch me!" He yelled before retreating into his room.

As the years went by Lovino learned to dress with gloves, long sleeves, and jeans so he couldn't touch anyone. Still, he avoided other people like the plague, only talking to his brother and nonno. By the time he reached his first year of highschool he had become a master at avoiding notice period. He had gained the reputation of the troubled, but brilliant kid in doing so, but now his teachers didn't really mind when he cut class, which was often, and they seemed to barely notice when he was in class. Since the school building was an academy that started from sixth grade and went up to twelfth Lovino knew the whole school by now. He typically hid in a room under the back of the stage he had found, it wasn't used by the theater department and no one came in there so he made it his own.

Everything in his life of avoidance and solitude was exactly as Lovino wanted it. That is, until a transfer student from Spain had to come and ruin it on the first day of freshman year.

-  
Hello everyone! So this is dead alone. It's actually something I started a while ago, then reopened for a creative writing class, then took the original added some of my tweaks and went from there to make the first chapter. It's gonna be spamano jus an fyi. It's going to be a darker fic if you can't already tell based off the events of the first chapter. So I hope all of you like this and yeah.. thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

"Fratello! Wake up! Wake up fratello!"

Lovino heard by his ear. He groaned and rolled over, trying to hold onto sleep. The room went quiet and Lovino smiled to himself, but then he was greeted by a person jumping on his bed. "Wake up Lovi! We have to go to school!" He heard his brother call.

Lovino groaned and grabbed the nearest thing to throw at his brother, which happened to be a pillow. He smirked as he heard Feliciano squeak and fall over. "Not funny fratello that hurt!" Feliciano whined as he got back on his feet.

Lovino scowled into his pillow "What are you bothering me for Feli?" He grumbled.

He heard Feli make his way over to his bed again and get back on, the shifting of weight on the side letting Lovino know that he had sat down next to him. "Because, we have school. It's the first day of high school Lovi!" Feliciano exclaimed, bouncing in place.

Lovino groaned and pulled a pillow over his face, maybe he could suffocate himself and not have to go. "Can I just stay home and say I went?" Lovino muttered.

School was the last place he wanted to be, he hated it there. Sure, he was smart and the teachers always admired him for his perfect gpa and homework average, but that's only because he never was spending time with anyone other than his brother. He never went to the mall, he bought everything he needed online, he never spent time with friends for obvious reasons, and he actually liked learning. The only times he ever went out were really for school and when he wanted to go out into the forest by his house since no one was there ever. He was pulled out of his thoughts by his brothers whines of "Fratello you have to go, I don't want to go to highschool alone." Before Feliciano leaned forward and whispered "Plus I'm scared of the big kids."

Lovino lost it, he burst out laughing and rolled off his bed, only to keep laughing after the yelp of pain from hitting the ground. "Fratello! It's not funny! They're scary!" Feliciano whined.

Lovino tried to calm his laughter enough to talk to his brother. "I'm sorry Feli" He started "I just, I didn't think you would be scared of the older kids, they're only a couple years older than you." He explained to his pouting brother.

Feliciano's put morphed into a smile. "It's okay... I got you out of bed!" He exclaimed victoriously jumping down from Lovino's bed.

Lovino glared "Did you make that up just to get me up?" He asked

Feliciano shook his head. "I really am scared of the big kids and I don't want to go alone." He said matching Lovino's gaze.

For someone who literally was the life of any social situation, Feliciano actually had pretty bad social anxiety. He would always cling to Lovino when they were in large crowds, and school was no exception. That had been one of the reasons Lovino had decided not to level up when he was offered the opportunity. Sure, he would love to get out of the school situation earlier, but he had to be there for his brother, he wouldn't leave Feliciano alone.

Lovino nodded "I know Feli, I'm up okay, tell nonno to get his ass up and start the goddamn car." He said making his way to his closet to get dressed.

Fifteen minutes later Lovino had finished getting ready and had made his way downstairs. Nonno looked up as he reached the bottom step. "Lovi you almost take longer to get ready than Feli does." He joked.

Lovino rolled his eyes "I don't take nearly as long as Feli nonno, and it's all my hair okay. It takes forever to get it to be decent." He muttered. "Can we just go?" He asked moving towards the door.

Feliciano of course followed behind him, holding onto the back of his shirt. "Come on nonno lets go to school!" He exclaimed bouncing on his toes.

Lovino led his brother out into the august heat that wasn't heat to Lovino, even in his long sleeves, gloves and jeans. He just didn't get warm, he was always cold, which was convenient for his necessary attire.

The car ride was filled with Feliciano's happy chattering about seeing his friends and making new friends and something about other people, Lovino didn't really make the effort to keep up with the conversation. When they reached the school Lovino could feel himself shrink back into his seat, now he wanted to have Feli's chatter and even join in on the conversation, anything but here. He didn't want to be here. Lovino could feel the beginnings of panic as he stared at the menacing building in front of them. "Lovi let's go" Feliciano said softly, holding Lovino's door open.

Lovino glanced from his brother, to the school, to nonno, back to the school in a panic. Couldn't he just stay here? "Lovino, you're going to be fine." He heard nonno say before putting a hand on his shoulder.

Lovino instantly jumped away out of habit, it didn't matter if his skin was covered he still worried about hurting people. "Okay" He said quietly "Thanks nonno"

He took his brothers hand, the only person he couldn't hurt, and walked into the place that was hell on earth to Lovino.

They had gotten their schedules and gone into the library so Feliciano could see his friends and Lovino could get his books. Lovino had all honors classes, as usual, along with art, creative writing, and photography, the only classes he was looking forward to attending. Feli was busy comparing schedules with his friends, talking excitedly, especially with this one boy Lovino had never seen before. He glared, the guy looked like he was awe-stricken with his brother, while Feli was all googly-eyed over him, Lovino was going to have to watch that.

He huffed and walked down the row on non-fiction. All these were those stupid mainstream books that teenage girls read, Twilight, Divergent, Hunger Games, all of them seemed to have similar plots to them. He could read Beastly again, maybe some Edgar Allen Poe, or some poetry. Lovino scanned the shelves for something that jumped out at him. Finally he found the book he was looking for, he reached for it and before he knew it another hand was reaching for the book. Lovino instantly flinched away from the person, that was a close one. "Did you want this?" Lovino heard the person ask.

He looked up to meet brilliant green eyes and a boy with a beautiful face. He nodded softly "Yeah, you can have it though, I've read it about twenty times." Lovino muttered looking back down.

This was bad, he found someone attractive, and in the most cliche way possible. Lovino rolled his eyes to himself. He had never seen this boy in the school meaning he was probably a transfer and didn't know Lovino. "Wow, that's a lot of times to read a book" The boy commented, and Lovino noticed the Spanish accent the boys voice carried.

Lovino risked a glance up to see the boy smiling at him. "Uh, yeah. I just happen to really fucking like that book, got a problem with that?" He said, glaring at him

The boy laughed "No, no problem with that amigo." He said before he stuck out his hand. "I'm Antonio." He said in a bright voice.

Lovino stared at his hand. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't shake it, could he? He had gloves, but what if those didn't work? He took a step back, unconsciously pulling his hands to his chest, and looked back up at Antonio's face. "Um, I'm Lovino." He said "And I'm not your 'amigo' bastardo." He replied with a glare.

Antonio's smile didn't falter as he handed Lovino the book, who snatched it out of his hands. "Thanks" Lovino mumbled before turning to check it out.

"I'll see you around Lovino!" Antonio called after him, earning many shushs from people trying to study and read.

"I seriously doubt it. I really hope you never see me again, for your sake." He muttered under his breath as he walked away. "And for mine."

* * *

Hey guys! So, thanks to being sick I got time to update and write somehow, despite my head killing me and the looming drowsiness. I blame all mistakes, if any, on that. So I've seen a lot of positive reactions to the fist chapter to this and I'm pumped! This is something I was really excited about writing and I'm ecstatic that you guys are loving it too! Thank all of you for your feedback it really lightens my day up and gives me that extra motivation.


	3. Chapter 3

Lovino sighed and stared at the sketch he was working on. It was only third period and he already wanted to leave. His teachers so far had all been overjoyed to have him in their class and of course readily gave him the notes for the year when he asked for them. Really it was ridiculous how they treated him specially because of the scores he gave the school, but he accepted it since it meant people would leave him alone and he could skip more.

Finally that class ended, and Lovino jumped up to leave before everyone else. He didn't want to brush anyone, just in case he could suddenly kill people through clothing now. Usually he took the back hallways that no one knew about. He sighed and relaxed as he reached the quietness that filled the empty hallway. It was a nice change from the loud, annoying, "Hey! Lovino!"

Lovino froze in his tracks at the sound of someone calling for him. It sounded like that boy from earlier, Antonio. How on earth did he, of all people, find the back hallways. He heard the loud sound of Antonio running towards him and started walking again. "I thought I told you to leave me alone." Lovino said quietly.

"Yes, but we've run into eachother again by chance it must be fate cariño" Antonio said, smiling down at him.

Warning bells went off in Lovino's head, and he froze. He couldn't allow this, Antonio couldn't flirt with him no matter how pretty his bright green eyes were and his curly hair that looked so so- no. He turned and glared at Antonio "Don't call me that" He said sternly.

Antonio's eyes lit up "You speak Spanish!?" He exclaimed.

Lovino rolled his eyes. "I speak a couple of languages idiot, it helps that I speak Italian as a first language." He explained in an exasperated tone.

Antonio walked towards him "This must be fate then." He said dramatically swinging his arms.

Lovino sped up his pace. "Or its you following me and the fact you go to a school centered around its multicultural population." He reasoned.

Antonio kept pace with Lovino and looked at him before smiling "I really am running into you by accident, but I would like to see you not accidentally" He started, smiling as reached to grab his arm, causing Lovino to flinch away and back up. "Don't touch me!" Lovino exclaimed.

He could feel his breathing quickening and his body shaking. Antonio pulled his hand back, but moved a little closer. "Lovino I-" He started softly.

Lovino shook his head and backed up "I- I have to go to class." He muttered.

Lovino turned and ran down the hallway, towards his safe place. Antonio's calls to wait followed him until he lost him in the maze of hallways. Antonio was a new student and it was the first day, he would never find him. Lovino sighed and slowed to a walk, he was almost to the stage anyway.

Finally he got to his room under the stage he had claimed as his own, in all the years he had been here it had never been disturbed. No one knew it existed and that's why Lovino liked it. Here he felt comfortable enough to break down, his solitude was his comfort. He reached for his headphones with shaky hands and turned on his music. Miss Murder, how appropriate he thought as he let the music soothe him.

After about thirty minutes Lovino was calm and reading Beastly for the millionth time. "At least you can get out of your stupid curse" Lovino muttered. He actually envied Adrian, he had to do was fall in love with someone who loved him and bam! He was better. He didn't kill people on contact, he didn't kill his mother, he was just hideous a monster on the outside. Lovino was a monster through and through, he just didn't look the part. Lovino would take beastly over deadly any fucking day.

* * *

Hey everyone! So yeah I have this headcanon that Lovino listens to AFI, especially miss murder and prelude 12-21... I donno its a thing. So yeah I'm thinking about possibly arranging all the songs I'm using for this, especially for the later chapters, into some sort of playlist...maybe possibl . So wow this story already has lots of feedback, I love it! Thanks to all of you commenters you guys are awesome.

UPDATE: Also to everyone apologies for the stupid coding stuff in there, I had updated from mobile and it made that happen so I'm really really sorry everyone!


	4. Character Profiles

Okay. so I've had really bad writers block for like a year. (cuz I haven't updated since 2014 haha okay yeah that was lame.) Despite this I was creative enough to write some character profiles. Sadly I can't give you Antonio's because of spoilers, but here be gifted with the twins! Sorry for not having a real chapter for you guys, I'm really busy and stressed, but I'm working on it. It's good to be back and happy new year yay.

**Lovino Vargas**: 15, has the ability to drain life from things on skin to skin contact with his hands. He accidently killed his mother when he was five causing many emotional issues. He has the twin brother Feliciano, who has the ability to give life essence.

Physical appearance: Height: 5'10", paler, yet has somewhat tan skin, hazel eyes that go to a darker green usually, wavy dark brown hair with a curl that goes to the left.

Attitude: He's very closed off towards everyone, he could be described as cold and harsh. He's a loner and never talks to anyone aside from his brother and later Antonio. To adults he Seems like the delinquent sort since he is always skipping out on class and never seems to pay attention when really he cares grately about school and even drills his brother on homework. He's a very caring brother, never letting Feli too far out of his sight if he can help it. He cares immensely about others, just gets annoyed with their ignorance and stupidity easily and hates being around people. Lovino's very hard on himself and he has a tendency to blame himself for things.

Relationship status: Single and in denial of liking Antonio

General: Lovino likes to hang out in a room under the stage that no one uses during school and either in his room or a forest clearing in his backyard. He loves tomatoes, he is an excellent cook and does it often. Lovino is an avid reader and spends most of his time reading. He has severe social anxiety and doesn't do well in crowds, he hates being touched, he is extremely introverted, and he tends to blow up when he is angry. His favorite colors are red and green. Lovino is a talented artist and looks forward to art class, and if he isn't in the library or his special place he'll probably be in the art room. Lovino is also a gifted writer and singer. Lovino is a genius and would've been able to skip a couple grades, but he wanted to stay and take care of his brother.

**Feliciano Vargas**: 15, has the ability to give life essence on skin to skin contact with hands. Watched his mother die when he was five and wasn't able to save her. He has a twin brother, Lovino, who has the ability to drain life.

Physical appearance: Height 5'10", tan skin, hazel eyes that go to a light honey brown eyes, wavy light brown hair with a curl that goes to the right.

Attitude: Feliciano is a very bubbly person, he is usually described as warm and happy. He's very sociable and makes friends easily, talking to almost anyone he meets. He's always in class and, though he may seem like an airhead, he's very intelligent and has straight A's. He cares for his brother very much, and relies on him for emotional support. He's very open with what he's feeling with Lovino, but he usually puts up the happy front to prevent people from worrying about him. He's naturally drawn to helping others and cares grately about others. Feliciano can be very hard on himself when it comes to school and friends and tends to over think things a lot.

Relationship Status: Single, but he happens to have a large crush on Ludwig after their first meeting

General: Feliciano loves being around people, and can't stand being alone as it gives him time to think. He loves most foods, pasta being his favorite and is an excellent cook like his brother. Feliciano is musically gifted and sings and plays guitar. Despite being amazing with people Feliciano actually has social anxiety and clings to his brother or his friends when he's in public. Feliciano doesn't usually have much alone time, but when he does he likes to read or play his guitar. His favorite color is blue. Feliciano is an avid student and spends a lot of time studying, he is also extremely intelligent.


	5. Chapter 4

Lovino stared at his blank ceiling and let out a sigh. It had been a couple weeks since school started and he was still trying to figure out how to ditch Antonio. He tried being harsh, he tried being cold, he tried blatantly ignoring him, nothing worked. He turned over onto his stomach and let out a groan of frustration. Why the hell wouldn't that fucking idiot get a clue, did he have a broken internal danger detector or something. "Fuck." Lovino cursed as he turned back onto his back.

Whether he liked it or not Antonio had started to occupy his thoughts more and more, and that was a bad thing. That meant that he was starting to mean something to Lovino, which meant that being harsh would be harder, which meant it would be harder to get rid of the bastard. It didn't help he was harder to get rid of than a fucking stain on your nice tablecloths, a nice attractive stain with pretty eyes, but still a stupid fucking stain.

He groaned in annoyance again and started punching his pillow. "Dio cazzo dannazione fucking hell Odio il fottuto bastardo scopare tutto cazzo cazzo cazzo figlio di una cagna bastardo damn everything to-"

"Fratello?" Feliciano said timidly, poking his head into Lovinos room. "Are you okay?"

Lovino turned and glared. "Do I sound okay Feli? Do I look okay? Does anything about this fucking situation lead you to believe I'm fucking okay?" He snapped.

He saw Feliciano curl in on himself a little "No, I guess not, mi dispiace I didn't mean to bother you Lovi"

The look on his brothers face made his heart sink a little bit and he sighed. "Feli don't look like that, I'm sorry. It's just... Antonio." He said defeated

Lovino watched as Feliciano's face lit up and he bounced over to sit across from him. "Oh! What about him? Why do you sound upset? He's always around you, Lovi someone finally likes you!" He chattered excitedly

Lovino shook his head. "Feli the bastard doesn't like me he just wants a friend thats all." He said annoyed looking at his hands in his lap.

He felt Feli bounce excitedly in place. "You like him don't you!? You like him and he likes you!" He sang

Lovino felt his face burn and he looked up at his brother. "I don't like that idiot!" He protested.

"You do, you do! You're blushing you- Ah!" Feli sang before Lovino pushed him off the bed. "Fratello! That was mean!" He shouted pouting.

Lovino just smiled sweetly and shrugged. That was before he wound up being pulled down by Feliciano. "Fuck you Feli!" He shouted before pushing his brother down.

The brothers started arguing and westling before they heard a bang from the door. "You two better not be hurting each other or you're paying the goddamn medical bill" A strict voice said from the door.

Feli jumped up. "Sorry nonno!" He said, his eyes wide and jaw slack.

Lovino laughed, he looked like a deer in headlights. He watched as nonnos face softened and he sat in front of them. "I'm only kidding Feli, I'm not that harsh on you boys." He said as he patted Feli's head. "Just here to tell you it's too fucking late for your fighting shit and you have school tomorrow."

Lovino groaned and fell back onto the floor. "I don't want to, nonno can I skip?" He asked.

He heard his nonno laugh and moved his hand from over his eyes to glare at him. "I'll let you skip with you are actually going to all of your classes anyway." He said.

Lovino rolled his eyes. "I have all the materials, I do my work and ace the tests. Besides the actual lessons are boring." He muttered annoyed.

"Besides Lovi, you can't skip. Antonio will miss you!" Feli exclaimed.

Lovino turned to shoot him his darkest glare. The fucker brought it up in front of nonno, shit. He watched nonno's eyes light up the way that Feli's did. "Antonio? Lovi, you never tell me anything about an Antonio. Who is he?" He questioned.

"Fuck off you old bastard, I'm not telling you shit because he's nothing." Lovino growled looking down at his hands again.

His face was burning, his heart felt like it was going to leap out of his goddamn chest. He heard nonno stand up and probably motion to Feli to go out based off of Feli's quick retreat out of his room.

"Remember Lovi, just be careful. You know that you have to be more careful now that you're older." He said softly

Lovino nodded, but didn't answer. 'Trust me old man, I know better than anyone how much of a monster I am.' He thought.

His night was filled with nightmares of accidental deaths and painful memories. He would never be able to have love Lovino concluded sometime after midnight. He was too dangerous, he couldn't put anyone else at risk.

* * *

Yay sibling bonding and cuteness. It's been forever... I know. I'm sorry, I've been grounded and was focused on bringing my grades up so I could get my stuff back and update. So I apologize, the new chapter is here, fuck yeah happiness all around.

Translation:

Dio cazzo dannazione Odio il fottuto bastardo scopare tutto cazzo cazzo cazzo figlio di una cagna bastardo - god damn fucking hate the fucking bastard fuck all fuck fuck son of a bitch bastard


	6. Chapter 5

Lovino awoke to the noise of his alarm droning in the background and a dull pain in the back of his head. He groaned and stuck his face back into his pillow for a moment before moving to turn off the alarm on his phone, immediately shutting his eyes at the light that hit. The light only adding to the pressure behind his eyes. Lovino stumbled out of his bed and into the joint bathroom shared by his brother and him. He rummaged through the medicine cabinet, the cabinets, and the drawer before groaning and sitting on the floor. "Feliciano where'd you put the goddamn pain meds, I need them." He called weakly.

Lovino listened to the random thuds the he guessed was his brother tripping and falling out of his bed and moving around, before the door swung open. "What?" Feliciano mumbled rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Lovino rolled his eyes, wincing at the pain the action caused. "The fucking pain meds. Where the hell are they?" He snapped

He saw Feliciano's eyes widen a moment as he thought. "Uh... Oh yeah." He said "We're out" He explained before shutting the door to his room.

Lovino dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Motherfu- Nonno! Feli forgot to tell anyone about the goddamn pain medicine and I need it. Tell me you have some old man." He shouted weakly, his voice seeming magnified by the pain.

"No Lovi, and I definitely wouldn't now." Nonno called up.

Lovino glared at the tile floor he was sitting on. 'Shitty old man, being an asshole not letting me get pain medicine' "No one in this goddamn house is responsible, fuck you guys" He shouted standing up slowly, grabbing the counter as he lost balance.

His headache had already increased greatly from the time he had woken up and it had only been about ten minutes. The pain making him want to curl up and die, his thoughts feeling like they're hitting his head. He dressed in a ratty hoody and old jeans before pulling on his gloves and heading downstairs, swaying slightly and holding onto the railing to keep from falling.

The light from downstairs hit his eyes and he immediately shut them and pulled the hood over his head. "You okay Lovi? You look paler than usual." Feliciano said as he bounded up to his brother.

Lovino winced at the noise and shook his head. "Kill me Feli, I'm dying." he said quietly, placing his head on his brother's shoulder.

"I don't want to kill you, and it's just a migraine you'll live." Feliciano said patting Lovino's back.

Lovino glared and moved towards the car "I'll be outside." He muttered on his way out, Feliciano holding his arm and following.

The ride to school was quiet, Feliciano and Nonno being quiet for once because of Lovino's fucking massive migraine, and Lovino trying to get some sleep in the back seat. He winced the moment they stepped into the school building though, his brother clutching his sleeve and the crowds of teenagers creating a whole shitton of noise Lovino was not prepared or ready to deal with. He turned to the feeling of his sleeve being tugged at to see his brother glancing at him "I'm gonna go say hi to Ludwig and everyone okay! Don't strain yourself." He said in an excited whisper before leaving Lovino alone in the chaos of the school hallway.

Lovino sighed and walked into the library, the quietest place he could think of in the school that wasn't the nurse's office and sat in the fiction section, leaning his head against the shelf of books. The peace and quiet along with the relaxing atmosphere of the library relieved some of the pain in his skull, dulling the sharp throbs. "You look pained"

Lovino slowly opened his eyes to see a certain someone he had been avoiding kneeling in front of him. He winced at the light that hit him and closed them again. "I'm not in the mood for your flirtation act Antonio" He said.

"First, it's not an act I really actually like you. Second, you look really sick, I think I have something for that." Antonio said, trailing off as Lovino heard him ruffling through his backpack.

Lovino waved his hand, trying to ignore the fluttering the first statement invoked in his stomach "It's fine, it's fine. I don't need it. Don't worry, I'll just hang out in here" He muttered, trying to get Antonio to give up.

He heard Antonio make a victorious noise and the shaking of a pill bottle before he was willing to open his eyes and take a peak. There he was greeted with Antonios face in front of his and a hand over his own. "These should help with your pain." Antonio said softly, his eyes never moving from Lovinos own.

Lovino glanced down, to his hand, and nodded. "Ah.. thanks I guess. You didn't, thanks." He said before taking the pills.

The noise of shuffling again prompted Lovino to look next to him, only to see Antonio moving to sit next to him. Lovino instinctually pulled in on himself, while Antonio seemed to be comfortable enough to move his long legs out to take up the whole aisle in between the bookshelves. "So do you ever go to class, or do you just sit in random areas all day and magically never get kicked out?" Antonio questioned.

Lovino shrugged. "I go occasionally, I mean I get the notes and assignments as early as possible and do them all at once so I just turn them in whenever. Plus I get all their scores or something so I don't really think they give a single fuck what I do. I have A's that's all that matters." He explained

"Woah that's pretty neat, you must be a genius or something! I'm lucky to be passing even when I attend class every day!" Antonio said.

Lovino scoffed. "Maybe that's just because you're an idiot or something." He said.

Antonio crossed his arms. "I gave you pain medicine, you could at least be nice to me for once." He whined.

Lovino rolled his eyes "And your whining makes my pain worse, also technically I don't owe you shit. You gave it to me, I didn't ask." He replied.

Antonio nodded. "You have a point I guess... Why do you always do that?"

Lovino looked at him confused. "Do what? Have a point? Because I'm a smart person, it's probably a rarity to you I know." He smirked.

Antonio shook his head. "No, _that, _be such an asshole to everyone." He said.

"Because that's how I am, nobody asked you to talk to me, you came up to me yourself. Don't fucking try to act like I should be nice to you. Don't like it, go away like you should've a long time ago." Lovino ground out, standing a grabbing his things.

Antonio sighed "Lovino I didn't mean it like that. I meant it like why do you push everyone out?" He explained, moving to follow the smaller boy.

"Because it's for the best. I need to go to class." Lovino said, moving quickly towards the door.

"I'm not giving up Lovino! I really do like you, I'll get to know you eventually! I swear on it!" Antonio called after him.

Lovino sighed as he reached his special room, he slid down the wall and onto the floor and put his head between his knees. "Bastard stop it, stop it before I can't take anymore and let you in. Stop before you get hurt." He whispered to himself.

AH, so I'm back from the dead. it's been way too long. way way too long. Sorry friends, school life is hectic and all. Once I reach summer hopefully everything will calm down and not be crazy. I felt like I needed to do this though, and I've been writing slowly but surely so I just finished today... yay! Yay for character interaction, yay for Antonio being a sweet fuck and Lovino actually talking with him! yay!

so as always, I love you guys! Love the comments I've been getting, they are my life source I absorb energy from them. I love hearing your responses to this story it makes everything worth it! Thanks so much for reading my story so far and I hope all of you stay this whole journey


	7. Chapter 6

Lovino opened his eyes and glanced around slightly confused, his mind was all hazy from sleep. The first thing he realized was that the pain in his head was gone. The second was that it felt really late and he was in his room in the school. Suddenly fully awake and somewhat panicking he sat up and pulled out his phone. Five-thirty. Lovino groaned and stood up, grabbing his messenger bag and walking out of the room he stayed in. Two hours after school, way later than he was used to, he slid his hand down his face. Most of the people who stayed this late were club kids and sports kids, both hated him. His walk quickened slightly at the thought of running into any people he didn't want to. "Hey Francis, isn't that the emo kid everyone says practices some freaky shit?" A loud voice said from behind him.

Lovino shuddered at the unfriendly sound in the voice and quickened his walk, who knows maybe they were scared of him like some of the kids.

"Oui, I think it is. What's his name... Lovino." Francis replied "I will be the first to say he has a nice ass." He said snickering a little.

Lovino gagged internally a little bit. He hated people talking about him like that, it was disgusting in his opinion. At least say he looked handsome or something, not comment on his butt without at least being a good friend. Lovino heard their footsteps come closer and closer until the feet came into his view at the ground.

"Hey Lovino, is it true you killed your mom?" A boy with a heavy German accent questioned.

Lovino froze. Why was it always that question? He quietly shook his head before walking faster than he was before.

"Lovino, I apologize for my friend Gilbert. He's a bit of an idiot, he didn't mean to offend you mon ami." Francis said smoothly, attempting to put his arm around Lovino's shoulders.

Lovino flinched away and swatted Francis's arm away. "Don't touch me." He growled out glaring at Francis.

The back doors of the school came into view and Lovino breathed a sigh of relief. Goddamnit if Antonio always showed up at little times he needed help why couldn't he show up now? Stupid fucking Antonio never being useful.

"Lovino!"

Lovino snapped his head up to see a confused Antonio standing near the back doors. "Antonio?" He questioned

"Gil? Francis?" Antonio questioned seeing the boys trailing him.

Lovino gave him a questioning look. "You know them?" He asked moving closer to Antonio the the other two who had now stopped.

"Of course he knows us! We're his awesome friends!" Gilbert said smiling.

Lovino gave Antonio a dirty look trying to show his disapproval. Antonio looked down and scratched his head. "Uh, yeah they're my friends. Uh guys why are you hanging around Lovi.. no? Why are you hanging around Lovino?" He fixed quickly.

Francis raised an eyebrow. "Ah! Gil! This is that boy that Tonio said he like-"

"Francis!" Antonio shouted, making Lovino flinch.

Lovino glanced from Francis's amused face to Antonio's blushing one. What? He actually told his stupid friends about him? Oh that's just great. Yet, part of him was happy that Antonio told people about him. It felt nice.

"So you told these losers about me?" He said smirking, moving closer to Antonio. "That's surprising Tonio, I thought we were gonna keep things between us." He said, pouting slightly.

Lovino watched amused as Antonio's jaw practically dropped and his face got at least a shade darker. The funnier part was seeing his stupid friends faces go even more shocked, it took everything he had to not laugh in the situation. Fucking with all of them was priceless, and hey, maybe he was flirting with Tonio a bit. Maybe he needed this and Feli was right.. just maybe.

"Ye-yeah uh yeah so-sorry Lovi I uh just uh..." Antonio stuttered out.

God he was basically a tomato, plus his jaw might have just been broken with how it was just hanging open. Lovino put a finger under his chin and closed his mouth for him. "Wouldn't want to catch flies Tonio." He said softly. "Now, I have to go home considering how much later it is than normal. Nice meeting you losers!" He said before walking out the doors towards the parking lot.

Shit. No car. Lovino sighed loudly before kicking a rock. Now what? The sound of footsteps moving towards him made him look over his shoulder to check who was running near him. Antonio. "Uh, Lovi- what, what was that?" Antonio questioned.

Lovino turned to face him. "What I can't flirt back every once and a while? You like me viciously rejecting you?" He asked

Antonio shook his head furiously. "No, no, most definitely not, just. Hey do you need a ride home, I've uh I've got a car." He offered, gesturing in a direction behind him.

Lovino rolled his eyes at the subject change. "So long as you won't kidnap me, I promise you'll regret it." He promised darkly.

"No, I wouldn't do that" Antonio said, laughing, Lovino swears, nervously?

The old pickup truck that was the ride Antonio had been promising was at least comfortable. The sun was going down earlier and earlier in the day considering how late in the year it was, so he had the sun visor down to prevent the setting sun from burning his eyes out. "So, uh, why exactly were you, no offence please don't get mad, not snappy with me?" Antonio questioned.

Lovino shrugged. "I don't know. You caught me after a siesta, I'm always happy after those. Plus you helped me today. I'm feeling nice I guess." He explained.

Antonio nodded slowly, taking in the explanation. "Okay. So, you're going to be nice to me now?" He questioned, hopefully?

Lovino paused. "Hmm. I'll try to be, so long as you're not a big fucking idiot, or stay out of my personal space." He said

Antonio glanced at him. "Are, uh, hugs, can I do those? Also holding hands?" He asked nervously.

Lovino went to agree when he remembered what he did to people. "Uh... well... uh... I don't.."

Antonio put his hand out. "I promise I won't hurt you." He said softly.

Lovino shook his head. "I-its not me I'm worried about" He said quietly, staring at Antonio's hand.

"Lovino I- "

"That house is mine!" Lovino said quickly.

Antonio stopped the car. "Thank's Tonio! I'll see you-"

Antonio reached out and grabbed Lovino's arm before he fully opened the door. "Will you ever stop running away from me Lovino?" He questioned.

Lovino stared at him with wide eyes, panic bubbling up in his chest. "You- you're touching my arm." He whimpered out.

Antonio glanced at his hand holding onto the sleeved arm. "Yeah, Lovino are you okay?" Antonio questioned slowly.

Lovino stared at his arm. "Please... Please let me go Tonio, please let go." He whimpered.

"I'm not gonna hurt you Lovi." He said softly, smiling gently at Lovino.

"You.. no, no.. please just let me go!" Lovino cried, yanking his arm out of Antonio's grasp

and practically falling out of his door.

He ran into his house, the sound of a car door opening and closing behind him barely registered with him as he pulled the door open.

"Hey Lovi you're la- what's wrong?" Feliciano asked as Lovino stumbled into the house.

The doorbell rang and Lovino turned towards the door instantly, his tear streaked face turning panicked again quickly. "I've got it." Feliciano said as he opened the door and stepped out.

Lovino sat on the floor in the front room crying for a couple minutes before Feliciano came in looking angry for one of the first times ever. He crouched in front of Lovino and reached for him, causing Lovino to flinch away. "Fratello it's okay, don't worry it's me remember? You can't hurt me, it's fine." He soothed helping Lovino up.

Lovino clung to his younger brother and cried as Feliciano rubbed his back. "Come on Lovi, lets take you to bed. It's okay fratello." Feliciano said before he led Lovino up to his room.

Lovino fell asleep to his brothers voice and his hair being pet softly that night. The peace that he began sleep with was lost swiftly over nightmares of a certain boy dying horrifically by Lovino's touch.

So hey everyone! You must be thinking 'wow a reasonable update time for once holy shit!' Yeah I know me too. Thank anxiety issues and the fact that I have no homework because it's finals week weeoo. So yeah, it's almost summer for me, meaning more writing time! yay. Thanks to all the people following this story, liking, commenting, ect. You guys are the bomb digity, yes I just used it, and I would like to say I love every one of you. You're all uber special and are each a motivator for this story. So yeah I might be writing this shit, but you guys read it and give it life and meaning. So thank you so much. Until next time my dear readers.


	8. Chapter 7

Lovino shot up in a cold sweat for at least the third time that night. He sighed and glanced at his clock, only to see it was a little after one in the morning. He quietly glanced around his room, looking at all of his drawings on the wall, his chair, his sleeping twin on the other side of his bed. Feli had passed out a little after Lovino did he guessed, he smiled slightly at his brother's messy hair and the little puddle of drool by his mouth, his brother was such a deep sleeper and did the strangest things. Currently he was mumbling something in Italian, a quirk he's had for years, most of it was ridiculous gibberish that made Lovino laugh, he'd even recorded his brother talking a couple times because of how funny the monologue he had been having was. Lovino thought he heard something about a magical pasta cat and giggled slightly, his brother was strange even in his sleep. Quietly, not to wake Feli up, Lovino got out of bed and made his way downstairs. His excessive sleep yesterday and the amount of nightmares he was having made going back to sleep absolutely not an option.

The air outside was chilly despite the long sleeves Lovino was wearing. He made his way to the woods behind his house, his phone doubling as a flashlight for him to find his way. His bare feet caused the grass beneath his feet to loose some of its life, small yellow patches were in a path behind him. The forest was Lovinos favorite place, it was quiet here, no people around to ruin it. It was beautiful at night anyway, the moonlight making the whole place almost seem magical. Lovino first found this place when he moved to nonnos house, he had been looking for a hiding spot and ended up finding the woods. The only other person who ever came in here was Feli, and that was only to make sure Lovino was safe. The usual patch he sat in was a yellowed circle on the ground, flowers and other plants grew around it, but Lovino never stayed away long enough for it to grow back. His comfort in this place allowed him to take off the gloves, he was already only in boxers and bare feet, everything that locked him inside himself was lost here. Here he could be himself, not having to worry about killing everyone, when he would mess up next, he was just a person here.

Lovino's peace broke when his phone buzzed.

**Tonio (bastard): Hey Lovi I'm sorry about today, I didn't mean to freak you out. Also please tell your brother not to kill me. **

Lovino read the text again before bursting into laughter. Did Feli really scare Tonio? What the fuck did he say to him?

**You: it's fine, Feli wouldn't hurt a fly. More like he couldn't. **

**Tonio (bastard): No, No. He definitely could. He's terrifying when he's mad! I thought I would die from his glare.**

Lovino laughed at the idea of Feli being scary. Maybe it was just because he saw him as his little brother who only healed shit and cried when he accidently killed a worm one time.

**You: The only one who can kill with looks is me. **

**Tonio (bastard): You mean because you're dead sexy? ;)**

**You: Shut the fuck up. Why are you up anyway?**

**Tonio (bastard): Why are you up?**

**You: Because I fucking can be bastard**

**Tonio (bastard): Such colourful language Lovi! Bad!**

**You: Fuck off. **

**Tonio (bastard): Hey Lovino?**

**You: Yeah? **

**Tonio (bastard): I.. I really do like you Lovi. I know you might not want me to tell you this, or you don't really care, but I do like you. I didn't really want to do this over the phone, but uh.. can you please go out with me? **

**Tonio (bastard): Lovino? Hey? I promise that I won't touch you, I won't push your boundaries. I really want to try though. **

**Tonio (bastard): Looovvviiii? **

Lovino stared at his phone screen in shock. One part of him wanted to say yes, to go out with Antonio and be happy, be normal. The other part, the larger part, was terrified of letting him in, scared he would slip up and kill Antonio. He killed everyone around him. Sure nonno lived, but that old bastard probably had some weird thing, Feli was the only safe person, but maybe... No.

Antonio said he wouldn't push the boundaries though. Lovino sat there, the internal war raging in his mind, he didn't know what to do, he didn't know what he was doing, and before he knew it. He pushed send.

**You: I'll go out with you. **

* * *

Hellloo readers! Cliff hanger kinda yeah, this was the first time I introduced texting into the story so tell me how you feel about that guys. This story is actually one of my favorites to write, for whatever reason the words and ideas just flow so freely with this one. The comments I've been getting for this story are so sweet, I love you guys! I'll make sure to have a page just to thank you guys... maybe I'll take a fan requested chapter... You guys deserve it after all! The love this story is getting makes me so happy, all the love I'm putting into it seems to be getting received by all you readers. Thank you for the favorites/kudos and comments, they are so so important to me. Readers you rock! Until next time!


	9. Chapter 8

Light. That was what woke Lovino up, a soft light that signaled the morning. Confused he sat up slowly and glanced around. When did he get into the forest? Slowly the events of last night came into his mind, he accepted Antonio's offer, he's dating Antonio. The realization was a little much for Lovino's mind, and for fucks sake he fell asleep outside. The patch of dead grass was evident of that, along with the pieces of grass sticking to his shirt and probably his hair.

The crackling of leaves and twigs alerted Lovino of someone's presence. "Lovi! Lovi where did you go?"

Lovino sighed and relaxed, it was just Feli. "Feli! I'm over here. Don't worry idiot." He called back.

The crunching of leaves increased with Feliciano's pace "Oh fratello there you are I was so wor-" He babbled before tripping over a branch and falling. "Ouch" He muttered quietly.

Lovino chuckled and stood up, making his way over to his brother. "Up you go" He said as he pulled Feli up to his feet again.

Feliciano's hair was covered in grass and leaves, his face was still in a form of shock, it was too much for Lovino to not laugh at. "Fratello! That's not nice. It hurt... Why are you out here?" Feliciano questioned.

Lovino paused "I couldn't sleep." He said.

It was the honest truth after all, nightmares had plagued him and he was restless. Besides, it was nicer out here and he could calm down easier than in a dark room.

"So... you slept out here?" Feliciano asked confused.

Lovino nodded. "I guess, more or less. I came out here and ended up falling asleep." He explained, gesturing to the patch of dead grass behind him.

He watched his brothers eyes light up. "I can fix that!" He said happily, making his way towards the dead patch.

Lovino watched with amazement as Feliciano put his hand in the center of the patch and the grass returned to life. It was incredible really, his brother had an amazing gift that matched his caring nature perfectly.

"Fratello, you have missed calls. Ooohhh a text from Antonio too!" He exclaimed before moving to unlock Lovinos phone.

Lovino moved towards his brother instantly. "Feli give me the phone!" He exclaimed trying to retrieve it.

Feliciano pushed him off with one hand trying to read the conversation with the other. "Fratello, Toni is flirting with you!" He giggled.

Lovino growled "Feli give me my goddamn phone you little shit."

The brothers fought over the phone, Feliciano giggling the whole time, much to Lovino's annoyance. Why he was fighting so much to be able to go through Lovino's phone would never make sense to him, then again Feli didn't make much sense to Lovino anyway. "God damn it Feliciano give me my fucking phone back." Lovino demanded, an undertone of anger and annoyance showed.

Feliciano paused for a moment before handing the phone back to Lovino. "I just wanted to check." He explained. "I get worried about you Lovi, you were crying last night and panicking and I thought something bad had happened until Antonio explained. I am still mad at him, he learned his lesson." Feliciano explained, and Lovino could swear his smart ass grin got wider at the end of his explanation.

Lovino shook his head and laughed "Feli, I know Tonio said you were scary,but to me you're just my squishy faced little brother that cries when things get hurt." He squished Felicanos cheeks together and laughed again as Feliciano pushed his hands off.

Lovino watched Feliciano's face morph into a pout. "I can be scary when I need to Lovi, and I only cry because I don't like things hurting I feel like I need to fix them." He muttered.

Lovino knew that for Feliciano to be scary he had to have been pretty upset, his brother never liked being rude to people, he felt like he needed to be nice to them and make them feel wanted. Feli wanted to fix the whole world, and Lovino didn't think that he realized that he couldn't do everything. Lovino sighed and pulled his brother into a hug. "Thank you for helping Feli, you're the best." He said.

"We're supposed to stick together fratello, it's what family does." Feli said, his voice muffled by Lovinos' shirt. "Oh also, you have a text from Antonio and he's asking you on a date." Feli muttered.

"What!? Feli why didn't you say anything sooner, what the fuck you bastard, you're such a little asshole sometimes." Lovino cursed as he pulled out his phone.

Sure enough he had a few texts from Antonio.

**Tonio (bastard): buenos dias Lovi! **

**Tonio (bastard): Hey Lovi, I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date. I have some food, maybe a picnic in a park or forest? **

Lovio sighed, he had only sent the last one about twenty minutes ago, it wasn't too late to reply right? Well, fuck it whatever.

**You: Hey, sorry, Feli was being a little shit and stole my phone. I uh.. picnic sounds nice. I kind of know a place. **

Lovino sighed, maybe he could take Antonio here? At least then nonno and Feli would be nearby and if anything went wrong they could help. Plus, he could leave if Antonio turned out to be an asshole that he wanted nothing to do with.

**Tonio (bastard): Amazing, because I.. I don't know anywhere. I hope you like tomatoes and guacamole and chicken sandwiches. **

**You: What the fuck? That better not all be together. Bring some fucking chips and I'll eat the guac and the goddamn tomatoes. Uh Please?**

**Tonio (bastard): No! No, I mean you can add toppings.. it's just some of the things I have with me. **

**Tonio (bastard): Uh, Lovi? Where are we going?**

**You: Don't worry, it's right by my house. Just come over and I'll show you, we can walk. **

**Tonio (bastard): Okay I'll be over soon! :)**

Lovino sighed. "Tonio's coming over." He muttered, the heat on his cheeks was uncomfortably warm compared to his usual body temperature.

"Fratello! Let me get you dressed please! Your clothes this time, I promise. Please?" Feliciano begged, bouncing around.

Lovino sighed. "Fine, but we need to hurry. And nothing weird okay. My closet only."

He watched as his brother happily nodded before pulling him up and dragging him into the house, ten minutes later he was in black skinny jeans, a black shirt with red stripes on the sleeves, a beanie, combat boots and his gloves. He had spent about five minutes convincing Feliciano that, no he did not need eyeliner no matter how sexy Feli thought it made anyone look.

"I still don't understand how you wear clothes that warm all the time" Feli muttered looking at Lovinos closet.

Lovino sighed. "I told you Feli, I'm freezing all the time. If I didn't know any better I would say I was not only death, but dead as well. Only I'm alive, because I have a heartbeat..." He explained.

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway caught the attention of both siblings, Lovino glared at Feliciano who smirked and jumped up. "I've got it!" He yelled.

Lovino hopped up behind him. "Feli you little shit no you don't!" He yelled grabbing his brothers leg.

"Ow Lovi!" Feli whined as he fell.

Lovino took the chance to run past his brother down the stairs, only to be pushed out of the way by the landing. "Sorry Lovi!" Feli called behind him.

"Boys be careful." Nonno called from his room.

Lovino snickered at the fact that he didn't even check to see what they were doing. The siblings pushed at each other to beat the other to the door. Lovino pulled the door open right as Antonio was in the motion of knocking. "Hi." Lovino breathed out.

* * *

so insanity.. that just happened.. I just wrote insanity. More sibling time! Because I love establishing the relationship between the brothers and showing how much they really get and know each other. Also that they are both still fucking nerd children who need to have less energy. And guess what... next chapter is gonna be date timeeeeee~ Woohoo!

So yeah. That happened, I finally got this chapter written... it took me a while I'll admit gosh, but I wrote it. Also, I wanted to thank my commenters and readers and everything, but really really thank my comment leaving people for taking the extra effort to say some nice things and give me their thoughts and stuff. I love reading the comments you guys leave, it makes me happy and I go over them when I need pickmeups and shit. SO thanks. That's bout it for now.. I'll catch you guys later, bye for now~


	10. Chapter 9

Lovino took in an awkward breath before he realized he was blocking the entryway and Antonio probably wanted to get inside the house to at least set some stuff down or something. "Ah... um... you can come in" Lovino muttered, opening the door wider and gesturing for Antonio to enter.

Antonio nodded before stepping inside the house. Lovino watched as he looked around, taking in his surrounding probably. Nonno didn't have a small house, that was for sure, they were a little on the wealthier side as opposed to their family home and simple life they had led when their mother was alive. "It's nice"

Lovino looked up, dazed from being pulled out of his thoughts, which Antonio probably took as confusion to what he was referring to. "Your house..." He explained gesturing around him. "It's nice.. big, really big... but nice"

"It's Nonnos." Feliciano imputed.

Lovino glanced behind him at his brother, Feli's face was formed in what he assumed could only be a glare. The sight almost made him want to laugh, Antonios nervous reaction was just about as funny to him, but he figured he might as well save Antonio from his brothers "rage".

Lovino turned to Feliciano "Feli smettere fissando per favore, si sta facendo sentire a disagio." He said glancing warily at Antonio.

Usually he hated speaking in Italian when people were around who he was trying to include, he only used it if something was supposed to be between himself and his brother.

Feliciano gave him a look that Lovino interpreted as 'I want to glare so he knows not to fuck up' and shook his head. Lovino glared harshly trying to get his message across, he didn't want his first date to begin with his brother somehow scaring the pants off his date. Feliciano sighed and moved to fix Lovinos hair again. Antonio coughed nervously. "I, we should get on with the date right? Is uh... Feli going to be there?" He asked

Lovino giggled, yes actually giggled okay "No you idiot, it's a date. Feli and I do a lot together, but we don't follow each other on dates do we Feli?" Lovino asked.

Feliciano sighed. "No... we don't follow each other on dates." He muttered defeated.

Lovino smiled and made a shooing motion at Feliciano. "Stop fussing okay, go play video games or study, I'm fine okay idiot?" He said ruffling his hair.

Feli nodded silently before creeping up the stairs. "So.. where are we going exactly?" Antonio asked.

"Oh yeah, follow me.. You've got a blanket and everything right?" Lovino asked moving in the general direction of their back door.

Antonio smiled and nodded. "Everything is in here!" He exclaimed patting the basket on his arm.

Lovino nodded as he opened the back door. "Okay good, lets go." He said gesturing out the door.

Antonio paused confused. "We're picnicking in your backyard?" He asked

Lovino sighed. "Somewhat, sure. Just go outside for fucks sake and trust me on this."

Antonios laugh followed him outside, the cheerful sound making way for its brighter maker. "You're less defensive today." Antonio said quietly as he walked next to Lovino "It's nice to see you trust me, even a little."

Lovino kept his face forward, focusing on where they were going, definitely not the heat that was rising to his face and ears. Was Antonio talking? Should he be listening? What was he supposed to do? He could hold his hand right, he had the gloves they would protect him. No, they might not, he's nervous he could be worse, more powerful than he is used to.

"Lovino! Look out there's a tree"

Lovino felt hands grasp his shoulders and pull him out of his thoughts and away from a tree he was about to walk into. Dazed he looked up to the person holding him. Antonio seemed concerned, his face was twisted in a worried frown. "Are you okay mi corazon?" He asked softly, turning Lovino to face him. "You seem more in your head than usual."

Lovino nodded "Yeah Tonio, I'm fine. I didn't sleep much that's all don't worry you big idiot." He muttered, removing himself from the other mans grasp.

After minutes of mindless conversation and walking they finally reached the spot that Lovino spent his time at, _**his **_spot. The small clearing in the wooded area, one end with a fallen branch to act as a bench or shelter, the perfect spot for stargazing in the middle, climbable trees. This place helped Lovino stay calm, helped him find himself a little more. And now he was sharing it with someone he felt like he could trust.

Lovino glanced over to Antonio who was just stepping in the clearing, having been a couple steps behind him, and watched as his face morphed to wonder and excitement. Antonio usually glowed anyway, but the glow he had now, when his eyes landed on Lovino in the center of the clearing was something Lovino hadn't seen before. Feeling shy and exposed Lovino turned his gaze to the ground before gesturing around him and spinning slightly. "So, do you like it? This is my place, insult it and I'll beat your ass." He said.

"Yes, it's beautiful." Antonio replied, his voice closer than Lovino had expected it to be.

Slowly Lovino opened his eyes to see Antonio in front of him. The basket had been set on the ground, along with the blanket, and Antonio was just staring at Lovino. He froze awkwardly and stopped spinning, moving his arms down to his sides, only to have his hands caught by Antonio. "I don't think I've ever seen you so happy." Antonio said softly, a smile shaping the words.

Lovino looked down, at their hands, their touching hands. Of course Lovinos were gloved, but Antonio was holding his hands and he was looking anxiously for the signs of life leaving Antonio. "I won't hurt you Lovino" Antonio said softly.

Lovino anxiously looked up at Antonios face. "That's not what I'm worried about." He muttered, turning his face away to look at their picnic. "We should start eating yea?"

Suddenly he felt a hand on his face, his eyes widened and he instantly pulled away. His gaze went to Antonio instantly who, besides looking confused, wasn't showing any signs of physical harm. "You're really cold Lovino, do you need a blanket?" Antonio asked moving to grab the blanket under the basket.

Lovino sat down on the corner quickly "No I'm fine, I have really bad circulation, I've always been really cold." he said quickly

Antonio eyed him warily, but sat down across from him and opened the basket; pulling out utensils, plates, and food. He handed Lovino a cup and pulled out a flask of some drink, pouring it for him. "It's lemonade, my mama helped me make it." Antonio said "She really helped me do all of this." He admitted shyly.

Lovino smiled fondly at how Antonio reacted. "You and your mother must get along really well." He said softly.

Antonio nodded "Very well, she was really excited for me actually. I had told her all about you earlier... she actually told me to stop being a chicken and ask you out. She wants to meet you next time we have a date..." He explained, seemingly getting more embarrassed as he spoke.

Lovino listened intently. Is this what mothers were like, would his own be like this? Excited for his new prospect at love, the idea of him having someone? Would she want to meet Antonio too? "-Ino? Lovino?"

"I'm sorry what?" Lovino said.

Antonio laughed slightly. "I was asking about your mom?" He questioned.

Lovino stared for a second, shifting his gaze to the floor. "You.. you haven't heard the rumors around the school about me or anything? At all?" He asked weakly.

He heard shuffling, felt something next to him, not touching him just sitting there. "I've heard rumors about you.. I don't listen to any of them though. What do they have to do with anything Lovi?" He asked.

Lovino took in a breath. "M-my mom... died." He whispered. "She died when I was five in an accident... right in front of Feli and I... We couldn't... I couldn't... It was my fault." He cried softly.

He felt himself being pulled into Antonios arms, he felt warmth around him, rubbing his back lovingly. "It wasn't your fault Lovi, you were little, it's not like you killed her." He said, unaware of how his words of comfort drove the pain deeper.

Lovino sobbed harder hearing that, shaking his head softly. "It was my fault, you wouldn't understand, you couldn't understand." He sobbed.

"Lovino. Lovi look at me amore." Antonio said softly.

The moment Lovino felt flesh on his chin he flinched away and pulled out of Antonios' arms. "Don't." He shrieked

Antonio froze, Lovino watched him move slowly towards him. "Lovino, I promise I won't touch you okay? You need to try to breathe" He said softly, sitting in front of Lovino.

Lovino nodded, his breath was coming rapidly, tears streamed down his face. He felt embarrassed, the date was going so well and then he freaked out on Antonio who probably thought he was weird now. No. Lovino pushed out those thoughts and focused on breathing like Antonio told him. "Do you want to continue the date? Or do you want to go home?" He asked quietly, smiling warmly to Lovino.

"I want to stay, we need to eat the food at least" He said softly. "Besides, this is where I go in this situation anyway." He explained looking around him, trying to take in the peace this area seemed to have.

"I'll get you some food then, si mi amore?" Antonio said moving towards the basket.

Lovino just nodded, not knowing what else to do. He felt like every time he was around Antonio he seemed to let down every defence and break down in front of him, something he didn't want. Lovino wasn't even sure why, if he did he would fucking stop that shit from happening before it even became a full thought.

"I got you a sandwich, guess that makes me a woman" Antonio joked, placing the plate in front of Lovino.

Lovino laughed. "If that's the case you're a pretty manly woman, you've got pretty enough hair though." He replied.

Antonio smiled and flipped his hair to the side. "Of course it is, I'm fabulous!"

Lovino laughed "Fabulously a fucking idiot sure."

Antonio tsked and glared at Lovino. "Don't insult the one who makes your food, it could end badly for you!"

"You couldn't kill me if you tried." Lovino muttered. "Your moms a good cook by the way. Tell her I say thank you."

Antonio huffed. "I made that!"

Lovino nodded "Of course you did, and your mom made you. Really I should be complimenting her on her work."

Antonio scoffed and threw a chip at him, resulting in Lovino throwing something at Antonio, and Antonio retaliating. Soon enough they were in a full scaled food fight, laughing and shrieking. By the time the two of them had walked back into the house most of the contents in the basket were on them.

Nonno laughed when he saw them. "You do know you eat the food during a picnic Lovi right?"

Lovino just glared and flicked him off, walking a messy Antonio to the front door. "You're sure your mom won't mind? You can shower here, I can wash your clothes." Lovino pressed

Antonio shook his head. "No, no. I do my own laundry, it'll be fine." He explained smiling widely.

"What you idiot?" Lovino asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I had fun." Antonio said grinning ear to ear.

Lovino laughed at how ridiculous he looked. "I actually did too." He said.

Antonio sighed and glanced down at his phone. "I need to get going, I have mass tomorrow." He said

Lovino nodded. "I'll talk to you later Tonio." He said softly.

Antonio waved as he walked down the driveway. "I'll see you in my dreams Lovi!" He called.

Lovino shook his he closed the door. "You idiot." He muttered before walking upstairs and heading to the bathroom.

He stripped and hopped in the shower, cleaning off the food and grass that covered his body before walking into his room and falling onto his bed, hopeful that tonight he would actually get some sleep.

* * *

At least Lovino will get some decent sleep! I stayed up alllll night writing this because insomnia is a fucking bitch and I had anxiety oops. So this was a pretty long chapter, pretty emotional, pretty everywhere... BUT I WROTE CUTIES AND THEY DID THE DATE THING PEOPLE DO AND IT WAS CUTE AND IM HAPPY!

oh also translation of what Lovino had said to Feli right here: Stop glaring please, you're making him uncomfortable.

I hope you guys like this damn chapter, i sacrificed my sleep that i probably wouldnt have had anyway for it! See you next time! I'm gonna go pass out now.


	11. Chapter 10

Lovino woke up to soft light hitting his face. His eyes scrunched before he even dared to open them and look around, cherishing the feeling of sleep. He had actually slept through the night. That was the first thing in his mind, he was amazed really. His phone buzzing caught his attention, and as he was pleased to see it was Antonio calling him.

The slight blush that was on his face made him roll his eyes, he didn't like Antonio as much as he thought he did, he wasn't going to fall for him. As long as he kept that thinking he'd be fine.

"Do you know what time it is?" Lovino muttered after clicking the answer button.

He heard Antonio pause "Um... noon?" He answered, his voice filled with confusion.

"Wait, what?" Lovino asked checking the time on his phone.

For fucks sake, it was noon. He had slept till fucking noon. He had never slept this late before.

"Did you just wake up?" Antonio asked sounding slightly amused.

"Actually yeah.." Lovino replied confused.

"You not a morning person Lovi?" Antonio asked laughing.

"I've never woken up this late?" He muttered. "Not since I was little."

"You're weird Lovino." Antonio laughed.

Lovino nodded. "Yeah.. Trust me I know. Why'd you call me?" He asked.

He listened as Antonio shuffled around. "I donno I just wanted to talk to you, maybe possibly to get you to come over? My mom really wants to meet you." He said nervously

"Hola Lovi!" He heard from the background.

Lovino couldn't help but laugh. "Am I on speakerphone you fucker?" He asked

He heard laughing. "I like this one, he's feisty." The woman commented earning a whine from Antonio.

"Mama please"

Lovino laughed. "Here I assumed you wouldn't be a bastard and not tell me when I'm on fucking speakerphone."

"I put him up to it Lovi, I wanted to invite you to dinner! I'm making Italian food and I need a taste tester." His mother said happily.

Lovino sighed. Antonio's mom sounded nice enough, it's not like they could kill him or anything if they did turn out to be complete psychopaths. "I guess... I could come over." He muttered.

He heard cheers from the other line. "Make sure to pack a bag! You're going to stay overnight! Bring your backpack of course!" Antonio's mom exclaimed. "Okay gracias Lovi, see you soon!"

"W-wait, no hold on Mrs. Carriedo. Plea-" And then he heard the distinct click that signaled that he had been hung up on.

Lovino groaned and laid on the floor. "Feli!" He yelled, pulling a pillow over his face.

The sound of someone running and a thud told Lovino that Feli was in fact on his way.

"I'm okay" Feli called from the hallway.

Lovino screamed into his pillow and pulled it closer to his face. Maybe if he just sat like this Feli would get the idea and help smother him.

"Fratello? What is it why did you call me?" Feli asked as Lovino heard the door open. "Why are you on the floor?" He asked.

"Because life is evil and I need to hide from it." Lovino mumbled.

"Fratello, I can't hear you. You have a pillow on your face." Feli said, pulling the pillow from Lovino's hands.

"No shit Einstein I put it there." Lovino snapped.

Feli eyed him and sat down next to him. "What happened?" He asked.

Lovino groaned. "Antonio's mom invited me for dinner, then she told me to bring my backpack and my overnight bag and hung up before I could say no."

"So... she wants you to have a sleepover!?" Feli asked sounding happy. "That's good! You've never had a sleepover with other people, you or nonno always said no and I had to go alone."

"That's because kids probably would have ended up dead. What if she expects me to share a bed with Tonio, or he wants me to.. cuddle." Lovino said, his voice dropping at the end.

The idea of cuddling made Lovino anxious, made him want to throw up and hide in a room where no one could get him. The very word made him shudder. Being so close to someone, just having the possibility of falling asleep and them wanting to take the opportunity to touch his face or see his hands. His absolute worst nightmare. Then again if he slept over at Tonio's house he would have to sleep in gloves and pants and long fact that it was fall might make that seem normal, but it was still somewhat weird.

"Lovino." Feli said, his voice taking a serious tone.

Lovino looked at his brother, his face was filled with worry. "You know you don't have to, I can make up a lie or something." Feli offered. "I promise nothing bad will happen though. I may be mad at Tonio, but I trust that he won't pull anything okay?"

Lovino shook his head. "I want to go. I really do." He said softly.

Feli smiled at him and put his hand on Lovinos shoulder. "Then go. Call me if you get uncomfortable and have fun!" He said.

Lovino smiled and nodded. "Why do you only sound serious around me?" He asked.

Feli ruffled his hair. "Because someone's gotta look out for you! You may be a little older, but I can do things too!" He exclaimed.

Lovino glared and reached back to smack his hand away and ended up hitting the floor in the process. "You don't need to worry about me Feli, I've got this." He said

Feli rolled his eyes. "Of course you do, which is why you have nightmares and cry when you're alone." He replied, giving Lovino a pointed look. "I know more than you think Lovi, I'm not oblivious."

"How about you help me get some stuff ready Feli?" Lovino asked, changing the subject. "I need help with clothing choices."

Feli glanced at him before smiling. "Okay! I get to pick everything!" He exclaimed, jumping up and moving towards the closet to grab Lovinos overnight bag and clothes.

By the time Antonio had arrived Lovinos room had become a storm site from hurricane Feli, clothes were everywhere. His overnight bag and backpack were by the door and Feli was helping clean up the mess he made when the doorbell rang.

Lovino looked nervously at Feliciano who smiled softly. "Breathe Lovi, you'll be fine." He said, nudging him towards the stairs.

By the time Antonio had arrived Lovinos room had become a storm site from hurricane Feli, clothes were everywhere. His overnight bag and backpack were by the door and Feli was helping clean up the mess he made when the doorbell rang.

Lovino looked nervously at Feliciano who smiled softly. "Breathe Lovi, you'll be fine." He said, nudging him towards the stairs. Lovino opened the door and smiled nervously at Antonio.

"Hey" He mumbled, looking down.

"Hey Lovi, ready to go?" Antonio asked, his voice filled with excitement.

Lovino nodded. "Um my bags are in my room so..." he trailed off, gesturing behind him.

Antonio smiled at him and stepped into the house. "Well then we should get them." He said.

Lovino paused before nodding and leading Antonio to his mess of a room. He winced at the sight of his room with Feli in the middle with a pile of clothes in his arms. "It's not usually.." Lovino muttered.

"Hi Tonio! Sorry for the mess, I get crazy around clothes. Lovi's bags are over there by the door. Thanks!" He rushed, motioning to the two bags.

Lovino moved to grab the bags, only to be beat to it by Antonio. "Don't worry Lovi, I've got it." He smiled as he slung the backpack over his shoulders and picked up the duffle bag.

Lovino moved to protest, only to be ignored by Antonio and shooed out of the room by Feli. "Let him do it, don't worry." He whispered at Lovi.

Lovino sighed and followed Antonio out to his car. The car ride was quiet and uneventful, Lovino mostly stared out the window. Occasionally he would glance at Antonio, who was apparently doing the same. "Keep your eyes on the road you idiot." Lovino grumbled.

Antonio looked to the road, but glanced at Lovino again for a couple seconds. "I can glance at you, it's okay." He responded.

The Carriedo house was nice, Lovino immediately noticed this as they pulled up the driveway. He would have never guessed they were a wealthier family based off of Antonio's junker of a car. "I never would have guessed your family was rich." Lovino said.

Antonio shrugged. "We're not lavishly rich like your abuelo, but we have some money yeah." He muttered. "I just don't tell people because I don't want to be the new kid and the rich kid. Too much attention." He explained, waving his hand.

Antonio moved out of the car to where he had put Lovino's bags. "You can head inside if you want." He said.

Lovino glanced at the door and shook his head, moving out of the car to where Antonio was. "I can just go in with you." He muttered.

He wasn't really comfortable with the idea of walking up to the door alone, traversing the unfamiliar territory that is Antonio's home. He followed behind Antonio up the driveway, stopping behind him as he pulled out a key to unlock the door.

Before Antonio could even pull out his key the door opened and he was pulled into the house. A beaming woman that strongly resembled Antonio stood in front of Lovino. Emerald eyes gleaming, curled hair in a bun, and her tan skin complimented by a red sundress. "¡Hola Lovino! It's so nice to finally meet you!" She exclaimed excitedly.

Lovino nodded shyly. "Hello Mrs. Carriedo." He said softly, offering a small smile.

"Please, call me Esmeralda! Come in, come in. You shouldn't be just standing out there, where are my manners." She rambled, motioning for Lovino to go inside.

Lovino followed the woman inside, her voice carrying through the house she continued talking. "I hope you don't mind that you'll be sleeping in Antonio's room, I setup a blowup mattress for him so you get the comfy bed."

Lovino shuffled awkwardly behind her. "Ah, thank you Esmeralda. You really didn't need to, I'm fine on the floor."

Esmeralda turned to face him. "Nonsense Lovi! You're a guest and you are dating my son." She said smiling warmly at him.

"Oh, and you need to remind me later to pull out Tonios baby pictures!" She exclaimed with a smirk, before winking and walking into the kitchen.

Lovino couldn't help but laugh at that comment. Antonio walked into the room glancing at Lovino, confused expression obvious on his face. "What's so funny? What'd I miss?" He asked.

Lovino just shook his head and gestured towards the kitchen. "Ask your mom."

Antonio moved towards the kitchen, Lovino following. "Mamá, what'd you tell Lovi?" He whined.

Esmeralda laughed, a light musical laugh that reminded Lovino of his mothers laugh, "Nothing Tonio, help mine set up the table so we can eat."

Antonio nodded sullenly, a pout apparent on his face. Lovino watched as the two interacted in the kitchen, a twinge of sadness blooming in his chest. Would it have been like this if his mom was still here, this carefree happy environment? He smiled sadly at the idea of her making him bring Antonio there so she could fawn over him and help Feli tease them. The idea of her making Antonio sleep on the couch because she would be that overprotective. He likes to imagine her and Esmeralda would be great friends.

"Lovi."

Antonio's soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked up at him confused. Why did he look worried? As if Antonio could hear what he was thinking he answered Lovino's unanswered questions. "You're crying." he muttered softly, causing Lovino to run his hand over his cheeks.

Huh, he was crying. Hurriedly, he wiped off his cheeks. "I'm okay." He said softly, answering Antonio's concerned gaze. "Let's go eat." He muttered, gesturing for Antonio to lead him into the dining room.

The dinner was amazing, and he made sure to compliment Esmeralda plenty. They had lively conversation, Lovino mostly listening, but occasionally inputting. He liked this feeling, the homey feeling this gave. He figured he would like it there a lot.


	12. Chapter 11

Lovino quickly saw that Antonio's mom was much less strict than nonno when it came to personal freedoms. The moment he stepped into Antonio's room it was obvious. A big tv on the wall, gaming systems around it, a huge bed... everything nonno wouldn't allow. The gaming and tv would take away from homework, but Lovino likes to think that if Feli wanted it enough all he would have to do is pout a little bit and nonno would cave. Probably the only thing nonno would approve of was the bed, the comfy looking bed with lots of pillows, that seemed to be calling to Lovino because he really wanted to just jump on it. "You can jump on it if you want." He heard from behind him.

Lovino looked back at Antonio who was leaning against the doorframe watching him fondly. "How did you?" He asked, trailing off.

Antonio shrugged and pushed off the door frame. "All my friends ask if they can, I just kinda got used to it. I don't mind with you because you're sleeping in my bed anyway." He explained with a smile.

Lovino glanced over at the bed hesitantly. "Okay. Are um are you sure?" He asked

Antonio nodded. "Yeah, it's no big deal. I do it all the time." He said flashing a smile.

Without another thought Lovino just went with what his gut wanted for once. He jumped onto the stupidly soft looking bed and confirmed his beliefs, the bed was even more stupidly soft than it looked. ¨It is very soft.¨ Lovino said.

Antonio nodded. ¨Told you, there's a reason everyone loves it. When Francis and Gil come over they usually fight about it until they just end up sharing.¨ He said with a smile.

Lovino rolled onto his back and eyed Antonio. "So... what do we do at sleepovers? How does this work? Do we sleep now or do we try and stay up all night?" He asked

Antonio moved to the air mattress and gave Lovino a funny look. "Have you never been to a sleepover?" He questioned

Lovino rolled his eyes. "No, why the fuck would I want that. People are fucking stupid, I'm just here cuz your mom basically made me." He muttered

Antonio eyed him. "Well.. we could watch movies and cuddle... or just not cuddle and watch some movies since touch makes you uncomfortable." He said slowly.

Lovino blush slightly at the idea Antonio recognizing his discomfort for touch and making an effort to work with that, despite how difficult it appeared to be for him.

"Okay? What type of movies? Those weird romantic movies that Feli is obsessed with?" He asked, trying to make the distaste for those movies obvious.

"Don't like romantics?" Antonio asked laughing.

Lovino grimaced "God no, Feli watches those all the fucking times and it's terrible. They're stupid and the plot is always dull and overused. Guy loves chick or vise versa, one has an internal struggle, the other proclaims their love and either gets accepted or rejected. The rejected ones either leave or die, and the one with internal struggle feels immense regret and realizes they love the other but it is too late. There I just explain every single romantic movie. Ever." Lovino said smugly.

"Maybe people like them so much because they can be accurate. Everyone knows what it's like to be so in love you'd do anything." Antonio said slowly.

Lovino laughed. "God you sound like such a sap."

Antonio shrugged and grabbed the remote. "I'm picking the movie." He said slyly.

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Better not be some stupid shit" Lovino said.

They ended up watching tangled. Antonio seemed more than amused with his movie choice, even singing along to all of the songs. Lovino on the other hand was completely done with the whole situation. Though he had to admit that Antonio partaking in the musical numbers was extremely adorable.

The only weird part was Antonio staring at him during the song about the two falling in love. Lovino just shook it off as him being weird, since Antonio was always weird anyways.

Lovino started drifting off towards the end of the movie. Right before he asleep he swore he felt lips brush his forehead and the soft whisper of "I love you Lovino."

* * *

Hello. I've been gone for some time trying to sort out some things. I'm back though and planning to frequently update. Again thanks to everyone who supports and comments on the story. You guys are amazing. Until next time. Lots of love, Invisible


	13. Chapter 12

Antonio was sick when Lovino woke up. His concern was instantly intensified when he remembered the kiss on the forehead he had believed to be a dream. Instead he was now in a full fledged panic. _It was a brief touch though, it's not too bad right_!?

Lovino's head spun. _It wasn't that bad_ he kept telling himself. _He looks so pale though. _He thought in panic. Then again people look pale when they're sick and he's breathing. _For now._

Lovino shook his head frantically. He just got a flu or something. It's been a few hours since he went to sleep.

He frantically hovered around Antonio's sleeping form, glancing at his tense brow and pained expression. Lovino curled up and balled his hands into his hair. _He was fine last night. He was fine. He's going to be fine. _Lovino repeated this mantra in his head like that alone would make Antonio sit up with a dumb smile and say he was feeling better. The buzzing of his phone pulled his attention.

He grabbed it and pulled it to his ear. "Oh Hi Lovi, you didn't tell me how last night went? Loviiiiii... You're quiet." Lovino heard him pause.

"Lovino Romano is everything okay?" Feli asked, his voice taking on a serious tone.

"Feli... Come over here please." Lovino said weakly, tears pricking his eyes.

"I was on my way to school, I'll be there in a few." Feli said before Lovino heard a click signaling he was again alone.

So it was Monday morning, meaning Antonio's mom probably left for work already. Meaning Lovino had to let Feli in.

He shakily stood up and moved to the front door, glancing back into the room he was reluctant to leave. What if something happened when he was gone? _No_. He shook his head and went to the front door to unlock it.

By the time he heard Feli open the front door and make his way upstairs Lovino could swear that Antonio had gotten paler. "What happened?" Feliciano asked from the bedroom door.

Lovino looked up, his eyes full of tears. "I think he kissed my head. I- I thought it was a dream." He shoved his face into his hands. "I'm so fucking stupid." He said, voice muffled by his hands.

Feliciano sighed and walked over to Antonio putting his hand to the boys forehead. "Lovi he's just sick, he probably caught a flu at school or something. I can try to make him feel a little better okay?" He said softly, putting a hand to his brother's shoulder.

Lovino nodded slowly, blinking his eyes and moving his gaze to Antonio. His blubbering had calmed down a bit at his brother's words. "Y-you're sure?" He asked weakly.

Feliciano hummed in response as he worked up enough energy to help Antonio feel better and not look as sick. "I'm able to tell if it's your doing usually, besides I doubt a peck to your forehead would be **that** bad. You're not really safe sure, but you're not completely dangerous. You're like a rose!" He explained.

Lovino nodded absentmindedly, not really listening to his brother, instead watching the soft glow that emanated from his hands. It was really fascinating to watch Feli at work, he was even a little jealous at how beautiful his whole ability was. The way he just, restored everything. His brother was the essence of life and beauty, and everything Lovino wished he was.

"All better!" Feli said, pulling Lovino out of his thoughts. Lovino glanced at his brother, still in a slight daze. "He'll be just finnneee fratello. I'll get out of here okay?"

Lovino nodded, smiling softly at his brother. "Thank you Feli. I'm sorry I brought you over here because I was overreacting. I didn't mean to take up your time, you're gonna be late to school now." He said quietly.

Feliciano smiled and shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's really fine Lovi. I don't mind, class is boring anyway. Though I am missing time with Ludwig.." He said trailing off. "Make sure to get him to school, wake him up when I leave or something. Ciao!"

With that Feli let himself out with a wave and a thumbs up, a silent _it's going to be all right._ Lovino nodded and turned back to Antonio's sleeping form. Making his way back to the other boy, smiling at the relaxed expression he wore. The colour had returned to his cheeks, the sweat had left his face, and he looked content. "Hey, dumbass. You didn't have an alarm set and we slept in." He said nudging Antonio's arm with his gloved hand.

Antonio mumbled something and tried to roll over, pulling a quiet laugh from Lovino. "No you don't, we're already late." Lovino said softly, pushing at the other a little harder.

Antonio groaned in return, rolling over and pulling Lovino in for a hug. "Who cares about school. You never go, and I haven't had a sick day. We sleep." He muttered sleepily, burying his face in Lovino's wavy hair.

Lovino froze completely. He was fully covered, sure. He knew that logically nothing would happen. _Logically speaking I wouldn't kill people just because I touched them. _The panic was bubbling up in his chest, trying to push it's way to the surface. And then he heard Antonio's heartbeat, a perfectly fine heartbeat that was right next to his ear. Not slowing, not faltering, just normal; and like that Lovino relaxed into the hug of the sleeping boy beside him. "We should really go to school." Lovino said quietly.

He felt Antonio shift, pull him closer, felt the other shake his head against Lovino's hair burrowing into it. "Looovii" Antonio whined. "We're skipping. Just go to sleep."

Lovino nodded sluggishly, when did it get so warm? He felt so tired all of a sudden. He pushed his face into Antonio's chest, turning his head so his ear was against his heart and sighed. _This is stupid. This is so stupid. This is- comforting... warm... nice... I'm- I'm happy. _

Believe it or not I was not planning to have fluff in this chapter. Then I though about the lack of fluff I had, really the lack of writing hehe. I'm back though, here to give you guys a new chapter. Because honestly, missed writing a lot and this is the best form of stress release I have. Thanks again to the commentors who have given a lot of support to this story! I'm honestly thinking of doing some shout outs to those who just keep coming back because your support is awesome. Thanks again guys! Until next time.


	14. Chapter 13

The first thing Lovino felt was warmth. No just a little, he was surrounded in warmth. Sleepily he buried his face in the fabric in front of him, and then it moved and his eyes snapped open. In a hazy panic he realized that he was in fact wrapped in a person, that person being Antonio. Worry flooded Lovino's mind, was he hurting Antonio? The warmth suggested no, but, still panicked Lovino turned his head to press his ear against his chest. A soft sigh of relief sounded, the comforting sound of Antonio's heart beating helped Lovino calm down. Still, he felt incredibly stupid.

_This could have ended badly, I'm lucky nothing came off or he didn't grab my hand or wake up before me or..._

Lovino pushed his panicked thoughts aside. Nothing happened, there was no death. And he felt... Rested? At least more than usual. Slowly Lovino wiggled out of Antonio's grasp to be able to inspect himself. Everything he had worn was still intact, there was no skin peeking out, and on top of it he had been wrapped in a blanket and only touching fabric on Antonio's chest. He had actually gotten lucky it appeared, even though his shirt had ridden up a little, and his feet were bare he hadn't touched Antonio's skin. That fact was recited in his mind like a mantra, Antonio had napped with him for a few hours and lived to tell the tale.

Lovino slowly lifted up a gloved hand and placed it in Antonio's hair, and began softly stroking his head. Antonio hummed softly in his sleep, Lovino smiled at the sound and watched as Antonio moved into his hand. Still, he was amazed that Antonio wasn't withering away. Despite his gloves that he knew would protect from his deadly touch, contact still made Lovino anxious. Even his brother, who wasn't able to be harmed by him, made him extremely nervous when he would hug Lovino. Yet, Lovino felt calm, comfortable, something he hadn't felt since he had... well since his mother.

Antonio hummed again pulling Lovino out of his thoughts as the others eyes opened and groggily looked at Lovino. "How long have you been up?" Antonio asked, sleep making his words slur slightly and his voice gravely.

Lovino shrugged "I'm not sure, I haven't even checked the time. I was distracted by something" He muttered as he moved to look for his phone.

"You were touching my hair." Antonio stated.

Lovino nodded, not ceasing his search for his phone. Antonio stayed silent for a bit before speaking. "You didn't freak out or anything. And you slept with me" He stated, his voice quiet.

Lovino nodded again. "I did." He said, smiling victoriously as he found his phone. "For about four hours in fact."

Antonio stared at him, eyes wide. "Why did we miss school?" He asked

"You had a fever. I called Feliciono he's going to get your work don't worry." Lovino stated, checking through the postings for his classes.

"Why did you stay?" Antonio asked quietly.

Lovino shrugged "Because I could. Someone needs to make sure your dumb ass doesn't die or something."

Antonio stared off for a second. "You touched my hair." He repeated.

Lovino looked at him before laughing. "You're still on about that?" He said

Antonio nodded slowly, a blush forming on his cheeks. "You're really weird about touch. I figured something happened to you and just left it. This feels like a good thing. You touched my hair and cuddled me"

Lovino sighed. "You're not such an airhead after all are you?" He muttered. "Well! We have all day to do whatever. What do you want to do? We should go somewhere." He said smiling.

Antonio looked at him with wide eyes. "That's skipping class."

Lovino rolled his eyes. "No. We already did that when we stayed home for your fever. Besides you were sick."

"You weren't"

"I do this all the time"

"That's against school rules!"

"You known I skip out!"

"I do?"

Lovino sighed. "I take back what I previously said. You are an airhead. You always see me in the art room."

"You're an art student."

"How many art periods do you think I have!?"

"Um... too many?"

"Two. I have two."

"Do your other teachers not care?"

"Not really. I turn in most stuff at the beginning of the lesson. And I help tutor. And nonno has some weird stuff with the school."

Antonio looked at Lovino. "So... what do you tutor in because my friends and I need one."

Lovino sighed "All subjects. But if it's those two pricks they better be on their best behavior or I will make them believe the wrong things and not only fail them but humiliate them."

Antonio nodded quickly "No no, I would tell them. They are really very nice I promise." He said quickly, smiling loosely.

Lovino rolled his eyes. "They are perverts and I'm confused how you fell into their duo, but I won't question it." He said. "Anyway. Activities. What should we do?" He asked smiling.

Antonio shrugged. "I don't know if I can leave the house. Or what we even could do." He said.

Lovino smiled widely. "Okay surprisingly goody two shoes. I'm about to teach you how to live."

* * *

Hello everyone. I know I am returning after an extended absence and I apologize greatly for that. I'm finally out of school and I have more of a handle on my illness and so I have finally had the time to write. I'm updating multiple chapters to make up for some of what I missed. Also if anything is weird I apologize, I don't have a laptop atm... my charger blew out so I'm on my tablet. I hope I can make my absence up to everyone!


	15. Chapter 14

"Where are we going again?" Antonio asked nervously.

Lovino smiled as he drove. "Well I know this great ice cream shop across town, then we can go to this really nice park I like, maybe sneak into the neighborhood pool... I'm not too sure"

Antonio turned to Lovino wide eyed. "I'm pretty sure one of those things is trespassing. I also thought you didn't have your license yet" He said timidly

Lovino laughed "Lucky for you I don't swim. Also I don't have a license. Buuuuttt I have my permit and you're a licensed driver." He said happily.

Antonio looked around frantically "I'm only 17! Don't you have to be twenty something in America!? I had the rules recited to me" He said.

"No you're right. I happen to not give a fuck. Now stop yelling you're distracting the driver." Lovino said shooting a joking glare to Antonio before returning his gaze to the road.

"My mother's gonna kill me" Antonio muttered quietly.

"How will she know? When does she get home from work?" Lovino asked.

"Six. Sometimes six-thirty" Antonio answered automatically. "But aside from that, she always knows!" He exclaimed frantically.

Lovino laughed. "Example please?"

"One time I went to a party with Gil and Francis and she showed up, yelled at all three of us, then took us to my house and lectured us." Antonio explained.

"Did you write the address down?" Lovino asked

"I think so.. why"

Lovino laughed. "She found it you idiot. That or she tracks your phone."

"My phone's off right now because it's usually off when I'm in school and when I'm sick I turn it off so it doesn't bug me" Antonio explained.

"See, no big deal." Lovino said smiling

"She knew I sped one time!"

"App."

"She knew I ate the last cookie!"

"Aren't there only two of you in the house?"

"Oh.. um... yeah."

Lovino laughed. "Your mom's stuff is all explainable, see. She's not some evil witch that hones in on you."

Antonio groaned. "It's not what I mean. I swear its some mom power or something."

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Mom power?" He asked snickering.

Antonio nodded. "Everyone's mom does it."

Lovino glanced over again. "Really?" He asked quietly.

Antonio nodded. "Yeah, they just know things. When you're sick, when you haven't eaten... it's freaky." He explained

Lovino nodded slowly, keeping his eyes forward as he took in the information. "That sounds... nice." He said softly. "That's how you know they care. They just know what's wrong... it sounds nice."

Antonio looked over at Lovino. "Lovino ar-"

"We're here! Ice cream time let's go!" He shouted interrupting Antonio, before looking down to get the keys out of the ignition and leave the car.

The whole act was rushed to Antonio, but he complied and left the car. As they walked into the tiny shop Lovino was silent, Antonio stayed quiet too and observed Lovino's movements, trying to figure out his mood. As soon as they reached the counter Lovino lightened up, a smile breaking out onto his face. "Hey Shane, sorry to have been a while. Life is busy, you get it right?"

An older man walked up to the counter, apron around his torso and a cap on his head covering his bleach blond hair. He was smiling brightly at Lovino, blue eyes gleaming.

"Aren't you supposed to be in school kid?" He asked playfully as he made his way around the counter to them.

Lovino waved his hand. "You know me. Too many people there, hate it, too loud." He said. "And since your shop gets virtually no business from shitty hipsters, or anyone, during the day it's perfect for me!" He joked.

Shane shook his head "Low blow, low blow. Anyway, you're here to give me business with your _friend_ you still haven't introduced me to."

Lovino sighed as he moved to sit on one of the bar stools, Antonio following. "I was hoping he was invisible, damn. Antonio this is Shane, Shane this is Antonio."

Antonio smiled and shook the hand Shane offered. "You get dragged here by this kid? Blink twice if you're being held captive." He said, holding up a hand to make like he was whispering.

Antonio blinked, confused and looked to Lovino. "I uh... no?" He said quietly

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Stop hassling him Shane. He's here of free will."

"Mostly"

Lovino turned to Antonio "I heard that you shit" he snapped, smirking.

Shane laughed. "He's funny. You don't have friends Lovino, so how'd this one get past your shitty personality?" He asked.

Lovino smiled. "He stalked me relentlessly until I gave in. Came up to me every day 'I love your shitty personality and you! Accept me.' It was charming." He told.

"That's not... exactly how that happened." He muttered slouching slightly as he raised a hand up.

Lovino laughed "You're right. You didn't say some of the stupid shit."

Shane placed a large sunday on the counter in front of both boys. "That's strange. I mean, it involves Lovino so of course it is. Anyway I have customers other than you two" He said gesturing to the few other groups scattered around the shop.

Antonio looked at the bowl in front of him then sent a questioning glance to Lovino. Lovino smiled. "He gave you what I normally have. It's good, I promise." He said as he took a spoonful of the ice cream.

Antonio shrugged and took a bite, and Lovino watched as he made a face and put his spoon back into his bowl. Lovino laughed at the reaction. "What's wrong?" He asked, amused.

"It's too sweet. How do you eat that? It's the sweetest ice cream I've ever tasted I'm pretty sure ants don't even like it!" He exclaimed.

Lovino laughed loudly, bending over in his seat. Antonio watched with fascination,deciding that he enjoyed this side of Lovino most. The happy, joking, open side of Lovino. Things were still unknown, he was hiding lots, but he was already more comfortable with Antonio and he could see it.

Lovino finally sat up after laughing for some time, wiping his eyes and leaning on the counter, before he looked over at Antonio. "Well, if you won't eat it I will. And I'll have you know ants do like it thank you very much." He said before grabbing the other bowl.

Lovino ate quietly for a few minutes before he looked over at Antonio. "You should get another flavor. I'm paying so it's fine." He said, nudging Antonio with his leg.

Antonio nodded and walked off. Lovino watched as he went up to the counter and talked to Shane, who began laughing. Lovino smile and shook his head _the idiot actually explained the situation. Goddamn._ He ate his ice cream slowly, enjoying the taste that he only seemed to be able to share with Feli. He watched Antonio pick out some flavor of ice cream and head back to their counter, admiring how he looked.

"Since I am too sweet for you, what will you ever do?" Lovino asked.

Antonio laughed, taking a spoonful of the new flavor. "Nothing. I think the sour balances it out nicely."

Lovino laughed. "You seem to be a smooth talker." He commented.

Antonio shrugged and flipped his hair back, before leaning on the counter. "Yeah I happen to be just that." He said smiling

Lovino smirked. "Well Mr. Smooth talker. Smooth talk me." He said, leaning on the counter and batting his eyes at Antonio.

Antonio paused, red slowly filling his cheeks. "Ah... you're pretty"

"Pretty?" Lovino questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Antonio nodded. "Yeah. Really pretty" He said.

Lovino laughed. "Okay then. Finish up your ice cream, we're on a time limit." He said before standing up. "I'll go pay." He said before walking to the counter.

Lovino paid and the pair made their way back into Antonio's truck. "Next stop the park!" Lovino exclaimed as he started the car.

"You really like the outdoors don't you?" Antonio asked.

Lovino shrugged. "It's quiet." He said nonchalantly

Antonio looked at him. "That's it? Quiet? You don't like how pretty it is?" He inquired.

Lovino sighed. "I remember my mom liked it." He said softly. "I remember we always planted things, there were always flowers in the house and Feli always had a flower crown on. We spent nights outside to look at stars and hear animals. Mom really loved it." He explained, his vision blurred slightly.

Antonio stayed quiet for a second, then reached over to help wipe away the tears.

"No!" Lovino exclaimed.

Antonio froze, confused. "What?"

"Don't touch my face." He said sternly.

Antonio pulled his hand away slowly. "Okay... I won't I'm sorry." He said softly.

Lovino nodded stiffly, keeping his eyes forward.

They drove in silence for a while, before either of them spoke, Lovino being the one to break the silence. "Actually, screw the park. Let's just go to your house and play video games the rest of the day."

Antonio nodded silently. Lovino looked over at him before looking foward again.

"I'm sorry"

"Hm?"

"For snapping. I'm sorry. I know it's something you can't get and I'm sorry I expect you too. And then park thing isn't because of you. It just looks like it might rain... is all." Lovino explained quietly, never taking his eyes off the road.

They pulled into Antonio's driveway and just sat there in silence for a little bit. "Thank you." Antonio said softly, turning to offer a smile at Lovino.

Lovino nodded. "Let's go pretend that we never left and beat some games." He said, returning the smile.

* * *

Hey! Updated chapter sorry everyone. Thanks to forgotten traveler for pointing out a error that happened for some reason! Sorry for that! Anyway, enjoy the new improved long chapter. Goodnight readers, until next time have a swell evening.


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